{ Bel Janie }

I love Tarot card, I like asking questions and having a somewhat direction to follow. The card I pick the most is the Temperance and it's probably the thing I struggle the most, finding a balance in my life. I start back the gym last week and everything fell off.

I had a pretty rough month I'm not gonna lie and I'm happy October is behind me! The last week of last month, I did not follow my new vegan lifestyle and I gain 20 pounds in 2 weeks... Which is crazy and really brought me down. That's why I decide to start training again. Then all of sudden, I struggle with my concentration at work and start forgetting stuff like posting my blog post on saturday. I feel like I can only focus on a couple thing and never balance them all up. I wanna a be healthy, well my job gonna suffer from it. I wanna put more effort in my couple, but I'll have to focus less on going out and exercise.

Maybe the best thing for me will be making list, but what if I put too much effort on it? Will my friend and family start suffering from it? Maybe I'm asking too much of myself, maybe I should not want a perfectly balanced lifestyle but at the same time, I'm aching for it. I want to find happiness in everything and be the happy carefree person I used to be.

Maybe list and agenda are what my brain need right now. A small break from going everywhere at the same time. Always searching for the perfect way to be a better me.

I truly had no idea I was gonna do a tiny post today and I'm so happy I did. This spear of a moment though about writing what I felt really liberated my mind. I already talk about that in another post but I struggle a lot with expressing my though. Maybe writing what I feel was my way to express it all this time and I never realize it. Anyway, let me know if you like this post or not, I will talk to you real soon (tomorow I hope!!) Bye-ee!